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1.
You're drifting and failing, trying desperately to reach out and grasp any kind of feeling like you used to have. The pressure's been building up and your resolve just gets weaker - putting up a feeble attempt to attain all those great things you once saw for yourself. Should you give up and admit defeat or fight for one more chance? Is it better to move or on or is it worth what you always hoped for? The broad strokes you've always used seem to constantly leave you unsatisfied but you never managed to break out of your old habits. You promised yourself a thousand times you would try something new, something different but here you are once again, drowning in the same cesspool of despair, of self fucking hatred.
2.
Vagabond 02:38
My bones rattle as the scenery passes by. I don't know why being in motion helps me ease my mind. Sometimes when I'm moving I can quiet my thoughts. When I'm moving I can just ride. I've been working on being more present this week. I'm too detached. Feel like I can squeeze a little more out of my life if I try. Generally speaking, I'm too caught up in my head to appreciate and participate in the now. I feel as though I'm acting ostensibly, which holds me back from acting instinctively. It makes me boring, dull, and plain. Everyday's just more of the same. Wish I was more spontaneous. A bit quicker on my feet. Wish I could pick up and leave this place. We used to talk about hopping trains, with a guitar, without a name. Traveling coast to coast, living by the day. I got to get away like a vagabond. Call me escapist, maybe dejected, slightly erratic, likely deranged.
3.
I hope you miss me when I'm gone. I hope you miss me when the memories have all but faded, dissipated; and a cold stone marker marks a spot. I hope there's no hard feelings lingering in the gentle breeze you're breathing in. I hope a love lives stagnant in your heart even after years apart. I'm sure there's so much that we've left unsaid due to mutual stubbornness and ignorance. Each never choosing to give in; both too proud to let the other win. I don't like leaving things undone but I guess not every battle can be won. Lets never let the good times fade away. Lets let those memories remain. I blame the rest on you. I'll see you in hell. I hope you miss me when I'm gone, although we don't appreciate each other enough when we both know we're around; we both let each other down. An 11 digit phone call away but my pride stands in the way. Please excuse my cowardliness, I should have gotten over it. I wish we all could just forgive, forget. Let bygones pass, start a clean slate. We're all sinners after all. Can't we over look some flaws?
4.
I was freshly nineteen and I wrote two songs that day, trying my hardest just to express myself in the only way that I knew how. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't say anything meaningful, anything worthwhile, anything even slightly revealing of the pain and the agony I always suffered through, of the anxiety and the constant self doubts. One more time I'm going to try. One more time I'll try to find the sound to match how it feels inside. Now ten years later as evidence of a lifetime's worth of doubt, of not fulfilling all those unspoken hopes and dreams, I offer to you, my anonymous confidant, the obvious lack inside of everything I produce. So here's to an honest attempt, for once to bare my sole, to put in the substance I've always hidden down.
5.
The Coast 02:15
I'll make it to the coast one of these days. Camp out on a beach for 2 days. Grab my dog a good book and a guitar. Pack food and drink into my car. One day when it ceases to rain, one day when these clouds begin to break. I'll fly out there and visit some day. We'll embrace and relive the good old days over pints, we'll share stories never told. We'll laugh and forget we're so old. One day when it ceases to rain. One day when these clouds begin to break, maybe I'll come out of this daze and finally make it through this thick haze. One day when I'm not full of rage. One day when I'm free of this hate.
6.
We all know better than to do it. We all know it's never right. Put the keys in the ignition and speed home every night. The light glaring in my eyes, feel like I haven't slept for days. I find myself driving in a drunken fucking haze. I don't know how I'm home tonight and although I'm happy in bed, I really need to stop repeating this act over again. Inside I know I shouldn't do it but when all is done and said, I find myself drinking and driving once again. We've been drinking for however many hours now. I believe it's time for me to head home. We both know I've had one too many tonight, but I think I'll have just one more for the road. The music blaring in my face just to keep myself awake. Got every window slightly open. Probably won't stop till it's way too late.
7.
We were standing there looking out at annihilation. In very direction that we turned was utter fucking chaos. Five years ago and I hate myself already. It's all just one big fucking joke. Don't close the door, just walk away - this dreariness is killing me. My mind can't stop from turning back and thinking of all the things we could have done. We should have done something, anything. What's the point - it's all over now. So walk. Walk away.
8.
We talk of breaking status quo every week but deep down I think we know it's only getting harder to break free of the consuetudes we hold. The older we get the harder it gets to let go and change. Have my legs sprouted roots? What's paused my shuffling feet? The air tastes stale these days. Why can't I walk away when all the ties that used to bind me have withered away. We all have worn down, broken dreams. We cycle through our daily routines hoping we can earn enough to at least make it through the month. We talk of breaking status quo every week but deep down I think we know that ultimately some things never change. With age, I've somehow lost that spark and the urge I used to have to fight back against the things that tear us all apart. I've lost what feels like all human feeling. I wander through my days, time is moving, but I ain't moving when I'm reminiscing better days.

about

Recorded in 2014 at King Killer.

credits

released November 10, 2015

All Songs Written by The Shower Scene
Recorded at King Killer Studios 2014
Recording/Mixes by The Shower Scene
Mastering by Easy Plateau Productions
Artwork by Sacha Raps

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The Shower Scene New York

Alex - Bass
Dan - Drums
Dan - Guitar
Luke - Guitar

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